The following article about visitation between foster children and their biological family is included in our September issue of the Angels Newsletter. To subscribe to our Newsletter click here.
Most children who are in foster care will have visits with their biological parents and or/other family members. The frequency and duration of these visits varies depends on a variety of factors and is ultimately determined by the court. At Angels, our practice is to allow foster parents to personally make the choice on whether or not they would like to interact with their foster child's biological family. There are cases when this is beneficial for all parties involved, and there are other times when it is not advised. Part of our job as social workers is counsel families through this decision making process on a case by case basis.
Whether or not there is face to face interaction between foster parents and biological parents, one thing that remains a key component of successful visitation is open communication. When foster parents are able to be forth coming with information about their foster child, this makes the visit go smoother for everyone involved. The communication loop for visits should include the Angels Social Worker, the CWS staff person supervising the visit, and the biological family. If a foster parent is not bringing the child directly to the bio family (which most often they are not), then they need to be sure to check in with the worker taking the child to the visit. This may be a worker from Angels or it may be a case aide from the county. Foster parents should make sure the worker has knowledge of the child's routine. For example, the worker should know when the child typically eats and naps. Also, if there are any dietary restrictions, make sure the worker is aware of this. Letting the worker know whether the child has been feeling under the weather, missed a nap, or had something else throw off their day is also helpful. If the child is notably fussy on arrival, it can ease nerves for everyone to know what the source of this may be. One of the most crucial aspects of visit communication is to clearly explain any bumps, bruises, scratches, rashes, bandages, or any other sign of injury. Foster parents should ALWAYS be informing their Angels social worker of any injury their child has, and if visits are happening, it is even more imperative that any little scrape or mark is noted. This may seem petty, but it is all part of working cooperatively and taking preventative measures. For example, here are two possible visit scenarios with very different outcomes.Scenario 1) When the Angels worker arrives to pick up a toddler age child for a visit, the foster parents points out a large bruise that the child has on his knee. The foster parent explains that while at the park yesterday, the child had tripped and fallen. The foster parent further explains that when the child fell, they ran to check on him immediately, but he had already gotten up and began playing again and barely seemed to notice that his knee was scraped. The next day, the scrape had turned into large bruised area, but child does not show any other signs of pain or further injury. When the worker takes the child to the visit with the bio family, the worker immediately points out the bruise and relays the explanation. The bio parent laughs and says, "Oh that sounds right. He can be clumsy and kids this age are always falling. Thanks for telling me". No complaints are made and the visit goes smoothly.Scenario 2) When the worker arrives to pick up a toddler age child for a visit, he is dressed and ready to go. The foster parent helps put the child into the car and points out the snacks that are packed in his back pack. The child is wearing long pants, so the worker does not see any sign of bruising on his knee and the foster parents does not mention anything. The worker drops off the child at the visit, shows the bio parents the snack and talks with the visit supervisor to confirm the time to pick up the child. About 20 minutes later, the worker gets a call from the visit supervisor. The visit supervisor is calling with concerns about the child. The bio parent needed to change the diaper of the child and had taken his pants off, noticing the large bruise on his knee. The bio parent panicked and became very upset about the bruise on his knee. The bio parent then begins to make assumptions that the foster parent must be trying to cover up an injury by dressing him in long pants. Since neither the worker who transported the child, the visit supervisor, or the bio parent had information on what had happened there is cause for some controversy. The bio parent wants to make a complaint against the foster parents.Now, let me stop hear and say that we KNOW that injuries happen. Especially with young children who are still a bit wobbly and working on their motor skills! However, we would much rather deal with Scenario #1 then Scenario #2. If Scenario #2 does happen, then of course, Angels does our best to address the concerns immediately and follow up with the foster parent to see what happened and smooth things over. However, being preventative by using open communication is always the best measure!This goes both ways of course, if anything unusual happens during a visit, it is expected that the bio family will provide a clear explanation of what occurred and what action was taken. Everyones anxiety can be elevated when it comes to visits. Foster parents may worry about how their foster child's routine will be impacted, how they will fare around new people, or how they will be perceived by the bio parents. Keep in mind, bio parents have no idea where their child is placed and may be imaging worst case scenarios. A little sharing can go a long way in assuring them that their child is an excellent home and that their needs are being tended to as they are showered with love. Just a reminder, that you can never share too much information when it comes to visits!
-Stacy Peterson, MSW
Angels Foster Care
